Love & Self Care

What does love have to do with Self care? With homage to the old saying, You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself. When we are short on self love, we tend to look for what is missing in other people. For example, someone who is not happy with their appearance, may look for the reassurance in their partner. If they do not receive the compliments or acknowledgment they are hoping for, it can be taken as confirmation that these imperfections truly do exist. Your partner may not even be aware that there is a problem, but the weight of this internal struggle can bear down into the relationship still. Another example would be someone suffering from past traumas, projecting their own internal conflicts on to their partner. I admit that this one is very familiar to me. In the past, I've felt a superior sense of responsibility for those I care about deeply. So much so, it would come before taking care of myself. After starting therapy I learned that the trauma I suffered as a child, was still manifesting into my adult life. Having felt helpless to those traumas, I was inserting myself as a savior to others including my partner. I would then feel disappointed that no one cared for me in the same way or that I always carried this weight alone. It ultimately affected me and then in turn, my relationship. With the help of my therapist, I realized it came full circle back to me. Setting boundaries is very important. We need to know how far we can take on other people's problems without neglecting our own needs and understand that we need to take care of ourselves to be in a place where we can be available to others. Self care is not just the mediating, bubble baths or face masks. It is also the work that we put in to become the best version of ourselves. When we are at equilibrium with ourselves in terms of self love & self care, we are at our highest potential to receive love that is true and meaningful and reciprocate it. For every gift you give during this season of love, give yourself the gift of starting to heal any old or new wounds. This is the year for positive changes and love!

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